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Showing posts from March, 2024

Adequacy

All my life I've struggled with whether or not I am good enough, both for others and for myself. That's what happens after years of being picked on - the bullying part stopped a few years ago, but one lasting effect it had on me is that I tend to second-guess myself, the things I do and my relationship with others pretty frequently. Did you do that thing you were supposed to do? Did you double, triple check? Do those people who you hang out with every week actually like you, or do they just not want to be rude? How do you know they don't secretly hate your guts and aren't talking shit about you behind your back? Years of being pretty much alone and/or in toxic friendships will make you ask those kind of questions - at least, it did for me. I wouldn't say I just "got over" all the things that happened to me, because it really isn't as simple as that - but it definitely took a lot of unlearning. Years of therapy, being on and off various meds, and learn